about friends

The following is a speech that I gave at a Mom's group at my church. Before you read it I just want to say that I never suggest giving more then you have to give. It is important to take care of yourself and reserve energy, only then you can enjoy sharing your talents and gifts with others. I am happy to give freely to my friends because I know if I needed them they would be there in a heart beat with scotch tape and band aids. Love you guys. So here it is.......



Not long ago I was walking with a friend, when she asked me a question that has been sticking with me. “Are you the person you wanted to be when you grew up?” Wow. I started to take a personal inventory. Yes, I recycle. Yes, I try to be a good person. Yes, I have a husband, kids, two dogs, a big yard, a nice enough car. I’m not a size 9. I don’t have a ton of friends, but I the ones I have are good friends. Am I happy?

She asked me this the same month I joined a Mom’s group in my church. One of our questions in our journal for that week asked, “If you could change anything, what would it be?” Throwing caution to the wind, I wrote….”I would like to win the lottery. Then I could hire a personal assistant to do my shopping, pay my bills, a maid to do the laundry and clean the house, and a cook to fix our meals. Then I could spend more time playing with my children, enjoying them at this stage of their lives. More time to nurture their individual “gems”. Teaching them the skills I want them to have. More time working for them. Helping them grow to be responsible adults, and someday loving parents to their own children. Next, I would do things for my friends and family to help them feel less stressed. I would buy them, a maid service, or a new car, something to make their lives easier.

The next page in the journal asked “how are you going to make that happen?” Well now. I guess I need to buy a lottery ticket, but then what if I never win? I could still do things for my friends to help them out. Carpool, babysit, listen, be a better friend, etc. That was the moment I vowed to become that person I always wanted to be. The person who doesn’t make work a chore. I still have to do the dishes, and the laundry, clean out the car. I don’t have to be grumpy about it. Otherwise I am missing out on too much. I want to enjoy my children. Not put off our together time until the living room is clean. I am trying to make cleaning up is part of our together time. Anyone with small children knows that our work is never done. I want to do that work with a joyful heart.

Things have changed this year. Struggles and heartache seem to be everywhere. I am grateful for my friends. Like the list above, friends do not make you happy, but they aplify our joys and mellow our sorrows. Our friends help us see possibilities. They help us stretch, and encourage us to grow into the person we think we can become. True friend help us see the better side of ourselves.

My prayers have changed this past year. I have come to accept “thy will be done”, it’s not my will be done. My prayers are less for things to happen, or change. Instead I try to pray for wisdom, and courage, grace and strength. Where this path will lead I do not know. What I do know, is that I want to be a person who walks my path with grace, strength, courage, and please God a little wisdom.

Now I leave you with more a challenge then a question. Who is the person you want to be? And, How are you going to make that happen?