about friends

The following is a speech that I gave at a Mom's group at my church. Before you read it I just want to say that I never suggest giving more then you have to give. It is important to take care of yourself and reserve energy, only then you can enjoy sharing your talents and gifts with others. I am happy to give freely to my friends because I know if I needed them they would be there in a heart beat with scotch tape and band aids. Love you guys. So here it is.......



Not long ago I was walking with a friend, when she asked me a question that has been sticking with me. “Are you the person you wanted to be when you grew up?” Wow. I started to take a personal inventory. Yes, I recycle. Yes, I try to be a good person. Yes, I have a husband, kids, two dogs, a big yard, a nice enough car. I’m not a size 9. I don’t have a ton of friends, but I the ones I have are good friends. Am I happy?

She asked me this the same month I joined a Mom’s group in my church. One of our questions in our journal for that week asked, “If you could change anything, what would it be?” Throwing caution to the wind, I wrote….”I would like to win the lottery. Then I could hire a personal assistant to do my shopping, pay my bills, a maid to do the laundry and clean the house, and a cook to fix our meals. Then I could spend more time playing with my children, enjoying them at this stage of their lives. More time to nurture their individual “gems”. Teaching them the skills I want them to have. More time working for them. Helping them grow to be responsible adults, and someday loving parents to their own children. Next, I would do things for my friends and family to help them feel less stressed. I would buy them, a maid service, or a new car, something to make their lives easier.

The next page in the journal asked “how are you going to make that happen?” Well now. I guess I need to buy a lottery ticket, but then what if I never win? I could still do things for my friends to help them out. Carpool, babysit, listen, be a better friend, etc. That was the moment I vowed to become that person I always wanted to be. The person who doesn’t make work a chore. I still have to do the dishes, and the laundry, clean out the car. I don’t have to be grumpy about it. Otherwise I am missing out on too much. I want to enjoy my children. Not put off our together time until the living room is clean. I am trying to make cleaning up is part of our together time. Anyone with small children knows that our work is never done. I want to do that work with a joyful heart.

Things have changed this year. Struggles and heartache seem to be everywhere. I am grateful for my friends. Like the list above, friends do not make you happy, but they aplify our joys and mellow our sorrows. Our friends help us see possibilities. They help us stretch, and encourage us to grow into the person we think we can become. True friend help us see the better side of ourselves.

My prayers have changed this past year. I have come to accept “thy will be done”, it’s not my will be done. My prayers are less for things to happen, or change. Instead I try to pray for wisdom, and courage, grace and strength. Where this path will lead I do not know. What I do know, is that I want to be a person who walks my path with grace, strength, courage, and please God a little wisdom.

Now I leave you with more a challenge then a question. Who is the person you want to be? And, How are you going to make that happen?

It's a colorful world

I guess we will be testing just how washable, Crayola's washable markers are. We started our journal project today. Nicholas and Donald were drawing pictures of the snake we found in the garden. Nicholas featured the snake and me with a scared look on my face. Donald showed lots of tracks back and forth where Daddy was driving his skid steer. The project was going well, I steeped away to change over the laundry. While I was gone a marker fight broke out.

The shirt needs a wash, the boys need a bath, and we need a lesson in marker etiquette. What is it they say about good intentions? :-) ugg

____________________________________________________________________

It could have been worse......cleaned up ok.

Crayola washable markers make the "products we like" catagory.

Time Will Tell...

This could be a huge flop or a treasured keepsake. I am hoping for treasured keepsake. I bought a Primary Journal for each of my boys. John is 8, Nicholas is 5 going on 6, and Donald is 3. I thought they could write/draw about their days during the summer. Summer time is busy and these three can find adventure around every corner. Not to mention we have a huge trip to the beach planned. I am hoping that they take to this. I love to write and I want them to share in that joy. I'll let you know how this goes. Wish me luck. Who knows, maybe they will have a featured article on the blog. That would be fun. :)

Art vs Labor

A friend of mine sent this to me. I needed it, I'm passing it along in case you did too. As far as I know the quote is anonymous.

"What we do is a measure of who we are. If we imagine our work as labor, we become laborers. If we imagine our work as art, we become artists."

Have a better day!

What can I say?

How can I avoid mentioning Notre Dame? I want to write about other things, but this Sundays display at Notre Dame invades my thoughts. The pictures of Catholic protests on a Catholic campus, the arrests, all of it is sensational. YIKES!

I have respect for President Obama. He is the President. I am rooting for him. I hope that he pulls us out of this economic, and international mess that the last administration put us in. I don't agree with everything he has said and done. We all know his views on abortion. With pro life being at the foundation of Catholic belief, I just don't see how the administration at Notre Dame thought this would be a good idea. They had to know they were inviting protest, media frenzy, contradiction. Is this what they were hoping for? Priests and Lay people on the 5:00 news being arrested on their campus. Did they think that the President would come to speak on a Catholic campus and no one would mention the *A* word? They knew this would grab attention, and they didn't care what came with it. I feel like we have all been exploited.

If the goal was to bring attention to the issue. It was there. They provided the stage and the spot light. Where was the support?

Sunday Fidgets

Today was a tough day. I took the boys to church. I was looking forward to hearing the sermon. I was hoping that I would find some direction. This has been a busy news week for the Catholic faithful as we watch Pope Benedict visit the Holy Land, and Notre Dame prepare for President Obama. The week has carried with it a level of anticipation and contradiction.

My boys had the wiggles. So it was hard to hear, or concentrate on, the mass and the sermon. The best I can tell you, is that today's message was one of love, and respect. The gospel was John 15:9-17, "love one another as I love you". There was no direct mention of the Pope or Obama. It was a good message, a good direction. Just not was I was looking for. Yet, time and time again, we find the best in unexpected packages. I am sure it was just what I needed, especially sitting with three fidgety boys.

No Quitters in this Car

We struggled to find his tennis shoes and glove. We struggled to get into the car. I was afraid we would be late for his first Tee Ball game. Nicholas declares from the back seat, “I want to quit. I don’t want to play base ball.” It’s one of those moments. I knew it was a teachable moment, and yet I was not sure what to say. In the car, we talked about being on a team. When it got right down to it I let him know he was not a quitter. I watched him play the game that day, and he really enjoyed it. I think he just had a little case of butterflies on the way there. After the game I bought him his first snow cone. I was very proud of my little hitter.

While I watched him play I was thinking back to my Dad, and how he would not let me quit. When I was in high school I ran track. I was awful at it. I know my coach did not know what to do with me. I couldn't jump far enough for long jump, or run fast enough for sprints, so she put me in long distance. I was not good at long distance either. I would get lapped running the 1 mile. I don’t know if she was hoping I would quit, or if she was short and needed a body to run the race, but there I was. Every track meet I would run in the 1 mile, the 2 mile, the 800 yard dash, the 400 yard dash, the 2 mile relay, and the 1 mile relay. Add that up it was 4 ½ miles at every track meet. It was grueling.

I would join track because my friend would talk me into it. She would say, “Come on, lets’ do it. We get out of school early for track meets, and it will keep us in shape.” I would join the track team, and two weeks later start to beg my Dad to let me quit. My lungs hurt, my legs hurt, my sides ached, and my feet had blisters. To top it all off I smelled like Ben Gay. My Dad would tell me how good I was at track, and finally that I couldn't quit. I did not have to join next year, but I was part of a team and quitting was not an option.

It was so frustrating. I can’t describe the feeling I felt running at the meets especially with one particular girl. She was good, I can’t tell you her name or her school, but I remember those purple shoes. I could hear her gaining on me, and finally watch those purple shoes pass me up. She would lap me twice during the two mile race. I would picture myself walking off the track. I just wanted to quit mid race and walk off. I never did, I just couldn't’t do it. Every meet I ran/jogged/dragged myself along until I reached the finish line. High school ended, and my friend was right, running kept us in shape. Somehow I ended up with a medal on my Letterman jacket for 3rd place in the 1 mile relay. (If I remember right there were only 3 teams running the race that day.)

My Dad taught me a lot of good lessons from those track seasons. I know that no matter how hard I try; I will never be a graceful runner, and that our parents see us with rose colored glasses. I also know I am not a quitter. I learned not to let my friends talk me into doing things I don’t enjoy. I am a little more careful about what I start, because I know I will see them to the end. I hope I am doing well with my boys. I hope they become good family men who know how important it is to fulfill promises. That they take care in choosing what they hold dear, and not quit until the job is done.

a sandy bucket full of memories

Only a few more weeks until school lets out. Summer vacation is about to begin. We are planning a trip to the beach. I hate getting on an airplane. I am not crazy about getting into a swimsuit. But I do love the wonders of the ocean.

Last year, we took the boys Hilton Head SC. It was beautiful, and full of fun. The boys had a blast digging in the sand, splashing in the water, and finding sea creatures. This is a picture of the ghost crab we found last year. We took our flashlights, nets ,and buckets to the beach at night. We were headed back to the car when this little guy scrambled across our path. He ran sideways, zig zaged down the beach, stopping to bury himself in the sand. We fallowed squealing and laughing until we finally got him in the bucket. We made quite a scene. In the end we let him go and held on to the memories.

Lessons from the Geese

I saw this so long ago I can hardly remember where. I thought it was important enough to hold onto a copy.


LESSONS FROM THE GEESE

As each goose flaps its wings it creates an “uplift” for the bird following. By flying in a “V” formation, the whole flock adds 71% more flying range than if each bird flew alone.
LESSON: People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.

Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to fly alone and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the birds immediately in front.
LESSON: If we have as much sense as a goose we will join in formations with those who are headed where we want to go.

When the lead goose gets tired, it rotates back into the formation and another goose flies at the point position.
LESSON: It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership with people, as with geese, interdependent with one another.

The geese in formation honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.
LESSON: We need to make sure our honking from behind is encouraging – not something less helpful.

When a goose gets sick or wounded or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and fallow their fellow member down to help and provide protection. They stay with this member of the flock until he or she either is able to fly again or dies. They launch out on their own, with another formation, or to catch up with their own flock.
LESSON: If we have as much sense as the geese, we’ll stand by one another like they do.

Real Friends

Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.
-a Sicilian proverb

I am lucky to have a friends that I can laugh with. I have one friend in particular who has known me for close to 20 years. Hard to believe 20 years. So she knows me well. I told her about the blog. She looked me up on the web and called me. We laughed because she was checking my blurbs for misspelled words. She knows me so well. In real life I spell like Winnie the Poo. I'm trying, but let me know if something slips through. :-) Have fun, maybe I'll slip one in so you can call me on it.

Nominations for Catholic Blog Awards 2009

Do you have a favorite blog??? Catholic Blog Awards are accepting nominations in the month of May for your favorite Blogs and Podcasts. Nominations end on May 25th at 5:00 Central Time.

To Nominate go to http://www.catholicnewmediaawards.com/ . It's free, realy fast, and easy.

There are lots of categories to choose from including:


Best New Blog - (a blog that has started in this past year, just like this one :-)

People's Choice

Best Blog by a Cleric

Best Blog by a Religious

Best Blog by a Man

Best Blog by a Woman

Best Group Blog

Best Written Blog

Most Spiritual Blog

Most Informative Blog

Funniest Blog

Most Entertaining Blog

The world of Blog is new to me, but I'm quickly learning that there are a lot of worthy, great blogs. So if you have a favorite catholic blog...... go ahead and let us know about it.....vote.

Two Dogs, Which Do I Feed?

I understand this is a quote used in some books and even a movie. I was introduced to it by a friend. She is an active mom. She is always coming up with interesting ways to focus her children's attention, and challenge them to be their best. One day I stoped by and noticed she had written on her microwave (in Neon Green Wet Erase marker). "WHICH DOG WILL YOU FEED?" I thought they were dividing chores. I had to know more. When I asked her what that meant and she told me this story:



"A Native American Elder once described her own inner struggles in this manner: 'Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean, he growls and bits. The other dog is kind and good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time.' When asked which dog wins, he paused to reflected for a moment and then replied, 'The one I feed the most."


We all have inner struggles and times when you have to chose; hope or despair, confidence or doubt, forgiveness or anger, turmoil or peace.......

It should be an easy choice ... but for some reason it is not easy. Maybe it is because we have to walk past that mean dog in order to feed the good one.

Which dog will you feed?

on a side note: These are our two dogs, Gypsy and Max. They are both well fed, and both good dogs.

Today/Tomarrow

Tomarrow is always the busiest day of the week.
- a Spanish Proverb


When does tomarrow become today?
- a BARBissum

Happy Mothers Day!

M.O.M.S.

Have you heard of M.O.M.S.? It is Ministry Of Mothers Sharing. If you have one at your church think about joining. If you don't have one, think about starting one. It is a great experience. I would describe it as an opportunity to find balance in your life, and make friends who share your values.

In our church handbook M.O.M.S. is described as: "an 8 week process that awakens in women an awareness of their inner sacred self and teaches them new ways to inspire and affirm each other, their spouses, and children. Through this personal and spiritual growth, women reach out and bring their gifts to others in the Christian community. We are M.O.M.S. of all ages, with children from infants to adults. We support, encourage, and help each other through the wonderful journey of motherhood."

It is a non-denominational program. Of course if you are Catholic you can add a Catholic aspect, if you are Baptist you can add a Baptist perspective, etc. It is a wonderful opportunity for moms to find each other and support one another.

To find out more about M.O.M.S. you can visit them at www.stpaulsmonastery.org/6-moms/introduction.html . We have an 8 week program at our church and are soon going to add an annual retreat. I am looking forward to the retreat.

Top 10 Questions asked at our house:

Top 10 questions asked at our house:

10) Did that really just happen?



9) Where is Blank? – insert name of family member.



8) Have you seen Blank?- insert item (usually …keys, your shoes, my purse, the phone, the remote….)



7) Why is there so much toilet paper in the toilet? (Toilet is stopped up-we are potty training)



6) Did you brush your teeth?



5) Did you do your homework?



4) Are we late?



3) Can you pick up some milk on your way home?



2) Why don’t we have a babysitter? (For answer-See picture at bottom)



1) Do we have any more coffee?

Yes, that is Donnies arm comming out of a Jif Peanutbutter jar. Life with a three year old is a constant adventure. I think boys may have a little extra umph in their adventure. :)

These are the moments that I ask "did that realy just happen?"

Friends and Angels

I was talking to a friend the other day about Guardian Angels. I have a theory, that friends and angels have a lot in common. If you don’t give them respect, or make time for them, they disappear.

The Guardian Angel Prayer fits well as a before bed, or morning prayer:

Angel of God

My guardian dear
To whom His love

Commits me here
Ever this day

Be at my side
To light and guard
To rule and guide.
Amen.

Beatitudes for Women

In honor of Mothers Day.....



Beatitudes for Women
(Courtesy of the Newark Archdiocesan Council of Catholic Women)

Blessed is she who suffers with
The very young, the very old, and the very lonely,
For she has compassion.

Blessed is she who greets the
world with joy, laughter, and anticipations,
for she has courage.

Blessed is she who speaks gently,
Lives humbly, and chooses to give freely,
For she has dignity.

Blessed is she who listens and hears
And extends her hands as a friend,
For she has understanding.

Blessed is she who gives simply,
Loves deeply, and walks joyfully in life,
For she has awareness.

Blessed is she who has
Compassion and courage, freedom and dignity,
Understanding, sincerity, and awareness,
For she is a woman, a gift, a blessing.

Hummingbirds in our back yard

Hummingbirds are making their way through our back yards soon. If you want them to stop and visit for a while. All you need to do is leave out a feeder full of their favorite treat. You can buy humming bird food at the store. However, it is easy to make at home and it is inexpensive. It might take a while for the humming birds to find your feeder. If you attract one, he is sure to tell his friends. In no time you will have different breeds diving in for the action. The trick is to have your feeder out when the scouts come through. If you live in Missouri that time is now. My friend in Jefferson City, says she has seen them visiting her feeder this week. I am putting my feeder out today in hopes they will come to our house soon.

This is the recipe I use in my feeder:

1 cup water
1/4 cup sugar
1 minute in the microwave to help the sugar dissolve.
stir and let cool to room temp. Fill your feeder and wait.

The food should be changed at least once a week. Clean your feeder with mild soap and rinse well with water before refilling it. Change the mixture more often when the weather is hot. It can spoil in hot weather. If you have time, sit back and enjoy the show. These tiny back yard acrobats are amazing.

First Communion - May 2009

Over the course of the past year, we have been preparing for my oldest son’s first communion. Within the past few weeks, I’ve been talking to my Mom about it. She shared with me memories of her first communion. The company at her parents’ house, the flowers that were in bloom. She asked me if I remember mine. I can remember the Knights of Columbus standing on either side of the isle, holding their swords in a criss cross pattern above us, as we took our walk toward the alter. It was like walking under a silver canopy. I remember the gift my parents gave me. It was a necklace with a gold cross and a diamond in the center. It was my first piece of jewelry. It been more then 20 years and I still have it.

It seems everyone I’ve asked, in the Catholic Church, can remember their special day of First Communion. This made me wonder what my son was going to remember about his special day. I doubt it will be that the dogs had a fresh bath, the lawn was manicured, the house was clean, or that the food was good.

We arrived early for pictures. He kept stepping out of line, and we would end up in the back. We started out third in line, and ended up being the last one to get our picture taken. That worked out well, because one of his good friends came in… almost late. We stood in line together and talked. With being the last two in line, we ended up getting a nice snapshot of them together, without feeling rushed.

There were 33 children in his class taking first communion Last Saturday. Each child stood up with their parents behind them as they took the host for the first time. When our turn came, I was surprised how my emotions rose to the surface. My little baby is growing up before my eyes. Father handed John the host and I found myself praying. “Dear God, Please watch over my son as he grows to be a man. Help guide him to make a good life. Please guide him in a gentle way to make good choices.”

John took the host, and turned Left. (We were supposed to turn Right to return to our pew.) I fallowed him, but before I touched his shoulder he turned around. We walked together with his Dad down the right aisle. If this was a sign, a response to my prayer, I have a theory. It’s not the sign I wanted, but I’m listening Lord. We are going to make mistakes. We are going to head down the wrong path now and then, but we can turn around. We each have to find our own way. Hopefully we learn from our mistakes, the big ones and the little ones.

After the ceremony, we had a small gathering at our home. It was very nice; with BBQ, potato salad, Cole slaw, sparkling wine, and soda. Every one enjoyed the cake. John received some wonderful presents. The weather man had predicted rain, but it never did. The kids played in the yard. The grownups had conversation. It’s hard to say what John will remember about his First Communion. It could be how the wafer tasted, or the friends he sat with in the pew. Maybe it will be how they sang the response to their baptismal promises, or the homily about guardian angels and Gods love for us. It could be the torture of posing for tons of pictures. Maybe it will be that he found a fossil in a rock with his cousin, or playing with new toys with his brothers. He will probably remember that Grandma and Grandpa stayed the night and put him to bed.

Whichever memories stick with him, I hope they remind him of how much he was loved. I hope they are memories of friends and family, and that they are full of love and happiness.